I crave change.
Most of the world has a bad case of neophobia-they fear change-but me, I live for it. I want to always be open to new adventures, new places, new experiences. Monotony is worse than chaos to me. I say it all the time: I’d rather be busy than bored. Calling me a creature of habit is like calling King Kong a cute little chimp, it’s so backwards it must be a joke.
My greatest fear in life is getting stuck. I don’t fear death or pain or loneliness, I fear never doing anything. I don’t want to look back and wonder where the time went, because I struggle with that. I get caught up in worrying about the future. I worry about not knowing what I want to do, not having a plan. I worry about never accomplishing anything worth doing, never going places worth visiting, never saying or writing anything worth reading or quoting or even remembering. I want to matter, call me selfish or arrogant or even foolish but I want to make an impact. I want to leave the world better than I found it, I want to make a difference. I can do all the writing in the world, but how will I make them want to read it?
Someone once asked me what I thought the meaning of life is, and as far as I’m concerned, we are here to make and appreciate beauty. Whether that beauty is sinfully delicious desserts, a masterpiece painting, the best blowout, the perfect cat-eye, an epic novel, an ice sculpture, a book of poetry, a complex and elegant perfume, the best-balanced cocktail, or even a wonderful scary brand new human being; the fact of the matter is beauty is everywhere, we create it all the time, and it’s also our job to see it and appreciate it. Humanity is beauty. Sometimes that beauty is cruel, sometimes it is extinguished, but it is constantly being rediscovered and reborn in every human imagination. We need change because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but how will we know beauty if we never open up and behold it?
True love is out there, so is the perfect cupcake; all you have to do is be brave enough to go looking for it.
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