A week ago I had the amazing opportunity to be a Team Leader at VCU’s CreateAthon event over spring break. I had been preparing for this all semester in my nonprofit project development class, learning all I could about the client and their marketing needs in anticipation of making them some awesome content during the 24 hour event. I was the liaison, the leader, the Go-To Gal™.
And I had the worst case of impostor syndrome I’ve ever experienced.
I felt unqualified, unprepared, and actually sick. (I lost my voice to a miserable throat cold during the course of the 24 hours.) I wasn’t on my ‘A-game’ and I had nagging fears of inadequacy plaguing me not unlike the nasty cough I was suffering. It didn’t matter that my fears were completely unfounded, or that the client loved everything we presented; I still felt the looming, inevitable threat of being called a fake. I was so obviously just pretending to be an adult, a leader, a worthwhile copywriter and teammate. Maybe it was my illness but I spent the whole event wrapped up in feeling inadequate. I couldn’t collaborate because it hurt to talk. I should have researched that aspect more. I should have thought to ask the client these questions sooner, why didn’t I have those answers?
But through that soul crushing inner monologue I found myself surrounded by wonderful talented people who somehow believed I was one of them. I came up with a headline for the organization that said exactly what they had been trying to say for five years in one sentence. I rewrote their redundantly wordy materials in language people would actually use and understand. I did what I was good at; writing copy and sharing things I learned with my team. Anyone who has met me can tell you that I don’t hesitate to share nuggets of knowledge like they’re snacks and I’m your friend’s super nice mom who always feeds you. I love to share. Sometimes I can’t help but share; I’ll drunkenly talk your ear off about whatever random facts I happen to have absorbed recently, regardless of your interest. It’s part of my charm, I hope. I succeeded.
And I realized as soon as I got some sleep and got out of my own head that we actually made work that was worthy of the client’s joyful reaction. We made stuff she needed and will use. And that feeling, knowing I did something genuinely helpful for someone who needed the help; that is what reminded me that I’m not a failure, so I needed to stop feeling like one. I did something really cool! While I was pretty damn sick and sleepless to boot, I might add. I worked with a fantastic multi-skilled team for a nonprofit that wasn’t getting what they needed from their parent organization and it was my pleasure. I didn’t take the class out of obligation, I wanted to. I had the urge to do something that mattered and the feeling I have now, when I remind myself why I bother, is not failure, it’s pride.
Copy Write Paste 